What is a social media influencer? – The New Times

There are many questions we need to ask about social media influencers. These include, why, who, what. 

The second most important question you need to ask about social media influencers is “why”. The most important one is “why in the name of all that is blistered and battered and bruised by big black bulldroppings?” but we shall not discuss that here. We shall leave that for your social media and attend to the less effusive interrogation.

What is a social media influencer? Well, this is what happens. One day a woman wears a lot of makeup and proportionately less clothing and has a photo of herself taken by a very expensive and highly advanced camera. Then it is edited for about fourteen hours by an engineering school graduate. The result is then posted on a telephone app such as Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, or Tik-Tok. Don’t even think of daring to suspect that you might hint at considering to mention Facebook in this conversation. Being a Facebook social media influencer is like trying to sell charcoal to a hydroelectricity dam. You are in the wrong place, at the wrong time, doing the wrong thing and in every other way being the wrong person.

The photo will have a bastardised quote from Mr Mandela, Mr Gandhi, Ms Malala, Mrs Obama, Rumi, and maybe, if the winds are blowing east and the owl is flying north, Taylor Swift.

But no one notices or cares, because we are concerned with the bikini picture.

The bikini picture gets